Had a profound experience some time back as I wandered in my thoughts in Goa while my friends newly born son underwent his baptism in the company of all family friends and relatives.
I was actually dumbfound to see the baby so much in peace at the church where the ceremony was being conducted in all its glory. Otherwise don't we know how newly born kids are to react and in stark contrast this guy seemed to enjoy every bit of it including when his noisy family raised a toast in the afternoon for lunch.
Sumptuous it was and we were already pickled in beer as my best mate describes the phenomenon. I was incidentally on of the last ones to crawl towards the tasty lunch after being drowned in all the unique sounds of laughter only men are capable of making. I mean I have never heard women laugh like that and no one can think of imitating a wild wolf pack as ours. Slowly though as fast as the house was filled with guests the desertion took place to complete the party's full cycle. I was by then walking towards the next door Panjim church to catch up with the Christian wedding that was being held.
I had just attended a program a few days back on Rabindranath Tagore's anniversary celebration showcasing his works and inspiration from the Scottish country music and from composers like Burns and so on and so forth. The church was beaming hymns which I suppose was in the Portuguese language, but more than a language it was a beautiful resonance from inside of the church which pulled me towards it. I possibly had the same experience which Tagore had too when he was a kid. I went straight ahead in front of the main entrance of the church as the chorus hymns grew more enchanting to my ears. I closed my eyes and even though wanted to badly do a sashtang pranam, I did its playback in my head rather than physically enacting it. I experienced wet eyes. I don't know why but in silence if we utter a prayer for whatever may be the cause the whole attention seems solely on the party being petitioned to and this case it is god.
In stark contrast my temple experience is that of chaos. The idea itself is chaos. One has to prepare oneself for the moment of truth and it does not naturally come to you. You hustle and wrestle with fellow wretched beings. We realise as we inch closer to the experience that we are indeed wretched and the hands that have carved the structure to house the divine energy must be getting a ticket to heaven whereas we are merely coming here to drop a petition and possibly bribe in cash too. But when I get my deity in my sight somehow like how they show in the movies if one has witnessed and heard, all sound from the background vanishes or is muted. I think every Hindu devotee who has been trained to concentrate with an idol in presence has experienced this. It is a profound experience where you don't just focus on god but actually experience only you and divinity alone. The chaos around you actually helps you to get out all your thoughts on the prayer or the petition whichever way you want to look at it, beforehand. It is an experience whereby you feel the divine presence so fucking overwhelming that you are silenced and humbled with hands folded and eyes shutting automatically not to utter a thought also for some seconds.
When you come out of the trance you feel the sense organs coming back to normal, silence fading and noises increasing and like as though someone has gently brushed the top of your head like affection to a kid.
Is there any religious experience which people claim as beautiful indeed, and when I actually use that adjectives I am myself amazed that my senses are capable of such a divine intoxication.
Not bad…. sometimes I impress myself too.
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